谁可以帮我改下我的英语文章 语法 病句什么的

建议：如果使用启动了拼写检查功能的Word，起码打字错误是可以避免的。里面有许多打字错误，当然语法错误也不少。可以将两个版本分别存入Word，然后比较一下，就知道我给你做了哪些修改。

Can you visualize what the world would be like if no one smokes? It would be wonderful. Smoking has negative impact in many ways. Nowadays, more and more people start smoking. Smoking affects our life in many negative aspects, health, waste of money, corruption and environment problems.

First of all, human’s health is threatened by smoking. For example, 5 million people die from smoking every year, because smoking is the leaving cause for lung cancer. Also, indoor smoking also produces second-hand smoking, affecting other non-smokers, and researches have shown that second-smoking also kills a lot of people every year. On the another hand, smoking is always an addiction. The nicotine in cigarettes works like a narcotic drug. So, smokers can’t control themselves. Indeed smoking is bad to our health.

Secondly, smoking is a waste of money and it contributes to corruption in our society. First, cigarettes are very expensive, smokers spend a lot of money on cigarettes everyday. When you add up the money spent on cigarettes in all those years, it'll be a lot of money thrown away. Second, more and more young people start smoking these days. Some of them think that smoking is very cool and they're always curious to try new things. They also feel that they belong if they join their pears smoking and hanging out with them. So to buy cigarettes, they either ask their parents for money or steal money from home, or use up their allowance money, which otherwise could be used to buy books. It not only a waste of money, but also a violation of school rules. Finally, smoking contributes to corruption in many countries. For instance, in China, business people always buy expensive fancy cartons of cigarettes as "gifts" to benefit contract negotiations. This corruption phenomena is especially common in small cities. So in this sense, smoking should be banned to save our society.

Last but not least, smoking damages our environment. First, it causes air pollution. Smoking produces carbon monoxide (CO). It has destructive power to the planet. Second, it causes litter because smokers tend to have a bad habit of throwing cigarette butts everywhere they go. When you wait for the bus at the bus stops, you will find lots of cigarette butts there. Third, smoking also causes a lot of fire accidents every year, which could have been avoided. We still remember very well that years ago in northern China a big forest fire in Daxinganlin mountains destroyed large areas of our forest resources. Investigation found that the cause of the big fire that lasted for months was a cigarette butt. Indeed smoking is a big problem that damages our environment.

In conclusion, smoking has many negative impacts on our life. Smoking is bad for our health, is a waste of money, and contributes to corruption and it damages our environment. Now that we're more aware these problem and that smoking is the number one killer, we should all stay away from smoking and ban smoking in public places.

Smoking have many negative effects. Nowadays, an increasing number of people are smoking. Smoking is a big influence to our lives. Can you imagine what the world would be like, if there were no smokers? It would be wonderful. Smoking influences humans in many ways. For example: health, financial costs, social and environmental problems.
First of all, humans' health is threatened by smoking. For example: 5 million people are killed by smoking each year, because smoking will cause lung cancer and tracheitis. Also, smoking indoor not only negatively impacts on your appearance, but also irratate those people near you. Even though they do not smoke themselves, the second hand smoke they breathe in can cause even more harm. Smoking is also extremely addictive. And your body can easily become reliant on nicotine in the cigarettes. Nicotine are narcotic drugs. So, smokers can not often control themselve when they feel the need to have a smoke. Indeed, smoking is bad for health.
Secondly, smoking will waste money and pollute the environment. Cigarettes are very expensive, smokers spend a lot of money in smoking everyday and the addiction will only become stronger by the day. Also an increasing number of students are smoking nowadays. Some of them think smoking is a very cool way to raise their self-image. So, in order to smoke, they would ask their parents for money even if it mean that they have to lie to their parents to get the money. It is not only a waste of money, but also destroys campus discipline. Smoking can be a major cause of concern to society in many countries. For example: in China, merchants often send premium cigarettes as gifts to higher office。 This way of bribery has become extremely prevalent in smaller cities.
In the next instance, smoking is destructive to our environment. smoking produces carbon monoxide(CO) which has destructive side effects for the environment. It can also cause a lot of litter, many smokers has the bad habit of throwing their cigarette butts on the ground where ever they go. When you are waiting for the bus at the bus stop, you will find many cigarette butts on the ground. In extreme cases, cigarette butts littering can cause fire, many fires are caused because of this every year. Many years ago, in northern China, a big Forest in Daxinganlin caught on fire. By the time the fire was extinguished, several months had gone past. And the cause? ---a cigarette butt. Indeed smoking is a huge problem to our environment.
Finally, smoking has many negative effects. Smoking is bad for our health, creates financial burden, and and destorys our environment. It is important that we understand all the negative impacts of this killer— Smoking.

Firstly, Secondly, In conclusion只适合在每一段的开头用。你每一段里面用的实在太频繁了。老外看了会疯的。

建议句首避免重复使用smoking, 太繁琐了，可以用it或是this等代词来替用。整篇文章看下来感觉是还可以，但是就是有点繁琐，我的观点和2楼的一样，繁琐。

主要修改点：主谓一致 断句及把某些简单句糅合 还有就是连词，避免了first second third 每段的叙事风格稍变
评价：其实你的文章写得不错 比一般写吸烟的坏处的文章写得深一点 特别是引起火灾和作为贿赂败坏社会风气这一点
如果更注重一下每段内部的逻辑的话就更无懈可击了

Smoking has negative effects in many ways. Nowadays, more and more people smoke. Smoking influences our life. Can you visualize what the world would be like if there were no smoking? It could be wonderful. Smoking influence human in major ways such as harming health, money wasting, rottening society and causing environment problem.
Let's talk about the health problem first.Human’s health is threatened by smoking. Almost 5 million people are killed by smoking every year because of lung cancer and tracheitis caused by it. Also, smoking indoor is bad behavior. Smoking indoor will influence other people who around you, in fect,they don’t want to smoke or even hate it.Somking will cause problem for them. What's more,smokers will be addicted to it since there is nicotine in cigarette. Nicotine can be regarded as narcotic drugs so smoker can’t control themselves very well. Indeed smoking is bad for health.
Another important effect is smoking will waste money and deprave
society. As cigarette is so expensive that smoker will spend much money in smoking everyday.Through long years, more and more money takes. Since here are more and more students smokes recently. Some of them think smoking is very cool because of the curiosity. So they always ask their parents for money or may deceive their parents to get the money to by cigarette. It not only waste money, but also destroy campus discipline. Finally, smoking make society rotten in many countries. Take China as a example, for their own interests, merchants always send advanced cigarette as gifts to the officers.This rotten phenomena in small city is very common. In this way,smoking corrupt our society.
The most important effectis that smoking destory our environment.It causes air pollution, smoking produces carbon monoxide(CO) which aggravate greenhouse effect. Besides, it leads to land pollution because of the remainder threw on the ground. It makes city dirty.The remainder is rubbish, imagine when you are waiting for the bus at the bus station, you find there are many cigarette remainder on the ground,you will feel disgusting. And smoking may arouses the conflagration, as we all know,many fires happen every year because of smoking. Thers is an example that many years ago, in north China, a big forest called Daxinganlin suffer a big fire . By the time the fire was put out, the fire had been going on for several months, the cause was a cigarette. So smoking is a big problem threaten our environment.
All by all,we can conclude that smoking has nothing but is bad for our health and environment and it wastes money and make society rotten.So we should try to give up smoking.

望有帮助。