跪求带翻译的英语小笑话，拜托了！！

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow".
老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？
汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。"

Mother: Why are you jumping up and down?
Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle.
妈妈：你为什么不停地跳上跳下的？
汤姆：我刚吃完药，可我忘了先摇瓶子了

Tom: William has asked me for a loan of five pounds. Should I be doing right in lending it to him?
Jack: Certainly.
Tom: And why?
Jack: Because otherwise he would try to borrow it from me.
汤姆：威廉向我借五英镑。我该不该借给他？
杰克：当然应该了。
汤姆：为什么？
杰克：否则他就该跟我借了。

Stranger: Catch any fish?
陌生人：钓到鱼了吗？
Fisherman: Did I! I took forty out of this stream this morning.
钓鱼者：我是谁？一早晨我就在这条小溪钓到了40多条鱼呢。
Stranger: Know who I am? I'm the game warden
陌生人：你知道我是谁吗？我是这里的渔猎执行官。
Fisherman: Know who I am? I'm the biggest liar in the state
钓鱼者：那你知道我是谁吗？我是全国最大的说谎者。

3.Teacher: Tom, why are you so late for school tdoay? And where is your homework book?
Tom: Sorry, Miss. I met a robber on my way to school this morning...
Teachse: Oh, My Gosh! So terrible! Did he robber anything from you?
Tom: He...he robbed my homework book....
老师：汤姆，你今天为什么迟到这么久？还有你的家庭作业本呢？
汤姆：对不起，老师，我今天在上学的路上遇上了一个抢劫犯……
老师：噢，天哪！太糟糕了！他抢了你什么东西没有？
汤姆：他……他抢走了我的家庭作业本……

Let me take it down
An elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen ."
"Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know.
为我所用
一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。”
“请再说一遍，让我把它记下来。”老鼠说。“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。