我没正式的工作，男朋友家不同意我们结婚，我该怎么办

如果你能确定你和你男朋友的爱情是真挚成熟的，建议如下：
1、坚定信心，相信自己一定能够获取大家的认可；
2、做好充分的思想准备，爱情是场马拉松，结婚只是里程碑，路很长；
3、不到万不得已千万不要把关系闹僵，家庭和谐很重要，小家是置身大家的；
4、针对重点问题全力击破，目前问题的症结是“正式工作”
（1）要帮助家人纠正所谓正式工作的概念，要重点在“稳定性”、“保障性”和“面子”问题上下功夫。如果你有足够的理由证明给大家目前的工作具备以上基本特点或潜质，我想就没有什么问题。
（2）如果可能，妥善变更自己的职业选择，找一份“正式工作”也是不错的选择，毕竟爱情也需要付出。
（3）要让所有人看到你不撞南墙不回头的气势。
总是，婚姻建立在爱情基础上，只要是真爱是没有什么会挡得住前进的脚步；以上四点要综合运用，如有偏废效果不佳；如果你能看得懂并产生共鸣，说明你们的爱情基本是成熟的，如果你觉得这些话很费解，建议你郑重审视这段爱情，慢慢来不着急。祝好！

Marriage, Love and Freedom
婚姻、爱情与自由
You are asking, "Is it possible to be married and to be free?"
你问：“结婚后还保持自由，可能吗?”
If you take marriage non-seriously, then you can be free. If you take it seriously, then freedom is impossible. Take marriage just as a game -- it is a game. Have a little sense of humor, that it is a role you are playing on the stage of life; but it is not something that belongs to existence or has any reality -- it is a fiction.
轻松地看待婚姻，自由是可能的；严肃地看待婚姻，自由绝不可能。把婚姻就看作游戏——它是个游戏。多一点幽默感，它只是你在人生舞台上扮演的一个角色；并不属于存在，也没有真实性——它是个虚构。
But people are so stupid that they even start taking fiction for reality. I have seen people reading fiction with tears in their eyes, because in the fiction things are going so tragically. It is a very good device in the movies that they put the lights off, so everybody can enjoy the movie, laugh, cry, be sad, be happy.
但人们如此愚蠢，居然把虚构当作现实。我看见，人们读小说，悲惨的故事让他们流泪。播放电影时，把灯关掉，这样做很好，因此每个人能享受这部电影，欢笑、哭泣、伤心、快乐。
If there was light it would be a little difficult -- what will others think? And they know perfectly well that the screen is empty -- there is nobody; it is just a projected picture. But they forget it completely.
如果灯开着，这就有点难——如果表露情绪，别人会怎么想？他们知道得很清楚，屏幕空无一物——没有人，只是投影的图像。但他们完全忘了这个事实。
And the same has happened with our lives. Many things which are simply to be taken humorously, we take so seriously -- and from that seriousness begins our problem.
我们的生活里，也发生同样的事。很多事情，只须幽默看待，我们却那么严肃——结果问题纷至沓来。
In the first place, why should you get married? You love someone, live with someone -- it is part of your basic rights. You can live with someone, you can love someone.
首先，你为什么要结婚呢？你爱某人，与某人一起生活——这都是你的基本权利。你能与某人一起生活，你能爱某人。
Marriage is not something that happens in heaven, it happens here, through the crafty priests. But if you want to join the game with society and don't want to stand alone and aloof, you make it clear to your wife or to your husband that this marriage is just a game:
天堂里没有婚姻，只在尘世，通过牧师的狡诈而存在。但是，如果你不想超然独立，而想参与这个社会游戏，那么你就要让你的妻子或丈夫弄清楚，婚姻仅仅是个游戏：
"Never take it seriously. I will remain as independent as I was before marriage, and you will remain as independent as you were before marriage. Neither I am going to interfere in your life, nor are you going to interfere in my life; we will live as two friends together, sharing our joys, sharing our freedom -- but not becoming a burden on each other.
“别把婚姻看得那么严肃。婚姻中，我将保持独立性，与婚前一样，你也是如此。你不妨碍我的生活，我也不妨碍你的生活；我们生活在一起，像两个好朋友，分享喜悦，分享自由——但绝不成为对方的负担。
And any moment we feel that the spring has passed, the honeymoon is over, we will be sincere enough not to go on pretending, but to say to each other that we loved much -- and we will remain grateful to each other forever, and the days of love will haunt us in our memories, in our dreams, as golden -- but the spring is over.
任何时刻，感觉到春天消失和蜜月结束，我们将足够真诚，绝不伪装，而告诉对方：我们曾非常相爱——我们将对此永远保持感激，那些充满爱的时光，萦绕在我们的记忆和梦里，如黄金般宝贵——但现在春天结束了。
Our paths have come to a point, where although it is sad, we have to part, because now, living together is not a sign of love. If I love you, I will leave you the moment I see my love has become a misery to you. If you love me, you will leave me the moment you see that your love is creating an imprisonment for me."
我们已走到那个点，尽管令人伤心，但我们必须分开，因为现在，共同生活不再是爱的象征。如果我真的爱你，当看见我的爱让你痛苦时，我将离开你；如果你真的爱我，当你看见你的爱禁锢我时，你将离开我。”
Love is the highest value in life: It should not be reduced to stupid rituals. And love and freedom go together -- you cannot choose one and leave the other. A man who knows freedom is full of love, and a man who knows love is always willing to give freedom.
爱是生命的最高价值：它不该蜕化为愚蠢的仪式。爱和自由在一起——不能做选择。知道自由的人充满了爱，知道爱的人总会给予自由。
If you cannot give freedom to the person you love, to whom can you give freedom? Giving freedom is nothing but trusting. Freedom is an expression of love.
如果你不能给你所爱的人自由，那你又能把自由给谁呢？给予自由不是别的，就是信任。自由就是爱的表达。
So whether you are married or not, remember, all marriages are fake -- just social conveniences. Their purpose is not to imprison you and bind you to each other; their purpose is to help you to grow with each other. But growth needs freedom; and in the past, all the cultures have forgotten that without freedom, love dies.
所以无论你是否结婚，记住，一切婚姻都是捏造品——仅仅为了社会的方便。婚姻的意图，不是让你们彼此囚禁和束缚，而是让你们彼此帮助，共同成长。但成长需要自由；在过去，所有文化都遗忘了：没有自由，爱就消失。
You see a bird on the wing in the sun, in the sky, and it looks so beautiful. Attracted by its beauty, you can catch the bird and put it in a golden cage.
你看见一只鸟，在阳光灿烂的天空中飞翔，多么美！它的美吸引着你，你能捉住它，把它放进金鸟笼里。
Do you think it is the same bird? Superficially, yes, it is the same bird who was flying in the sky; but deep down it is not the same bird -- because where is its sky, where is its freedom?
你认为它还是原来那只鸟吗？表面上，它还是那只在天空中飞翔的鸟，但是，在深处它已经不是原来那只鸟——因为，没有它的天空，哪来它的自由？
This golden cage may be valuable to you; it is not valuable to the bird. For the bird, to be free in the sky is the only valuable thing in life. And the same is true about human beings.
这个金鸟笼，对你而言，也许有价值；对鸟而言，毫无价值。在鸟看来，空中的自由飞翔，才是它生命中唯一的价值。对于人类，也是同样的道理。

你问下他们为什么不许你们结婚呢，仅仅是因为工作吗？应该让你的男朋友站起来，和他爸妈讲讲清楚，不是有工作就能有幸福的生活的，应该尊重你们自己的幸福，不是吗？不要因为这点小事就放弃爱情，现在应该鼓励你的男朋友和他爸妈好好谈谈，心平气和的。

正式工作尽量找，相对稳定就行，也不一定非要事业单位什么的。
当然，正式工作不是想要能找到就能找到的。你们要在一起，还是你男朋友的立场够不够坚定。能不能结婚在于他对你够不够坚持。

那就要看你男朋友的态度了。如果他对你不错，而且是坚定要跟你结婚的，那你们就应该好好和他家里人谈谈，或者让你男朋友去问问清楚，是不是就只是因为你没有正式的工作，才不同意的。如果是这样，那就简单了，就努力找一份正式的工作，毕竟有一份工作对你自己也是有利而无敝的。
若除了工作，还有其它原因，那你就该好好分析分析问题的所在，是不是跟他家里人接触的时候，有些地方没注意，导致家里人对你印象不好等情况。
其实，归根到底，就是他若是你值得付出的那个人，你就努力去争取吧，别轻言放弃。